My Soccer Team

I have always wanted to try out for soccer. I never tried out for a team, because I was scared, but every time I had a soccer ball with me it would really get me so exited and active and I knew that if I had a chance to play I would definitely join a team, and try more than my best to become a really good soccer player all I needed was a chance. It was hard for me though because my biggest fear was that I would get rejected by the team or the coach for not knowing how to play soccer or that I would get picked on or make fun off for that same reason, so I always ended up not even bothering on asking to play. During my senior year at clover park high school on 2010 I decided to join the school girls’ soccer team. On my first soccer practice day I felt really nervous and scare as I walked to the field but I thought that if I ever wanted to be a good soccer player I had to confront my fearness and do this once and for all. Even though I knew half of the team I was still not comfortable because it seem that they weren’t too interested on helping me. To be honest the only thing that help me kept me calm was asking god to help me out and not to leave me alone and also the presence of my boyfriend I felt that he was my only one friend, but more like friends my best friend there. He knew exactly how I felt and never thought about leaving me alone instead he will always go to my practices and support me. There weren’t enough girls in the team to finish the season so they canceled the team and we only got to play three games. I didn’t feel so accomplish about me playing soccer at school for a really short period. It felt good playing an actual game, and I wanted to keep playing, but I still wouldn’t want to join a team. I decided that why not making my own soccer team so that I can play. A team where I would feel comfortable because I would be the one making the rules and make sure no one is being picked on. I decided that in the team the only girls that were allowed to play were only girls that had never played before. I wanted to have a soccer team where we can start from the bottom and make the team so strong an ready so that one day can be champions. On May 2011 I started a new soccer team called “the Panthers” and as I mention before they were only girls that had never played before but I had faith on them and knew that the first games weren’t going to be easy but I stayed strong. The first game arrived and it when pretty bad we lost 7-0, but we kept practicing and by the time we were all getting better. The rest of the games were a little much better but we kept loosing most of the time, at the end of the season we had gotten much better. On September we got to quarter finals, we had to win that game to be able to pass to semifinals. I was really nervous, but me and the whole team tried our best and tried to stay strong. First half it was 1-0 we were losing so far. I was getting pretty frustrated but I knew that we could do it and I cheer the team up and told them we could do this, but they were starting to get upset. The second half started and at the middle of second half one of my team mate name Erika scored a goal it was 1-1 now and the game was getting more intense. We needed one more goal to win the game, but there was a couple minutes left for the second half to be over. The other team was getting pretty upset and started playing duty but we kept playing. When the game was about to be over another of my teammate scored a goals which it took us to 1-2. We had won the quarter final game; we were all so happy that our team had made it to semifinals. We practice hard during the week because our next game was on Friday and we were going to be playing semifinals. Friday arrive and it was time for our first game and I thought it was going to be really hard, because we were playing the best team of the league named Barcelona. I really thought we were going to lose bad against them.  First half it was 1-0 we were winning but one of the girl from the other team was really fast and scored a goal that took us to 1-1 after that the referee called a penalty against us and the girl that had scored earlier took the shot and scored, that took us to 1-2 I was not getting surprise that we were getting beaten since they were really good but minutes later my teammate veronica scored a goal then we were 2-2. After second half both of the team scored each 1 and took us to 3-3 at the end of the game we had lost, because they had more points than we did so they automatically won. We had one more game to try to fight for 3^rd place against this soccer team name Mohonera. The whole game was pretty intense since they were playing duty. It seem that the ref was on their side too, because he kept calling faults against us and even give extra time when he wasn’t even supposed to. Even though, our team stayed strong and beat the team 1-2 we had won the game which it means we had just won the 3^rd place. Even though it was 3^rd place it meant a lot to us because we wear all beginners and had made it semifinals and won 3^rd place. I knew then we could go farther and someday the team could be champions of first place.

HALP

My name is Jay. I’m 16 and I’m genderfluid. The first time I came out to anyone was actually on tumblr. A friend of mine that I knew from school had a tumblr to track his transition. I really admire him, especially considering the fact that we go to an all girls school. I was having a really bad day and I felt constantly plagued by dysphoria. I wrote in his ask box about my situation and he was really understanding. We talked back and forth through his tumblr and he dubbed me Fox, which became my genderneutral name for a while.

After I became a little more comfortable with being genderfluid, I told him who I was and we talked in person. We’re now close friends and I’ve since come out to several more of my friends, all of which are supporting me. I’m not out at home mostly because my mom would not accept it. I’m out at school as pansexual but not genderfluid because my school is very centered on gender and empowering women and I don’t think that would ever change. Still, I’m proud of who I am.

My name’s Zack, who is not only a 26 year old undergrad, but is also a transman. I’m a psychology major, so talk of sexual and gender identity comes up.

Last semester, I had decided to have my professors use my male name and pronouns, because my name change wasn’t legal yet. So I sent them emails explaining my situation and was met with mostly positive responses. My Abnormal Psychology professor asked me if when we got to gender identity in class if I could talk about my experiences. Being the good student that I am, I said yes.

Flash forward 2 months. We had gotten behind in the class and the professor didn’t realize that we started that chapter that day. So he pulls me out into the hall and asks me if I could talk that day about it. (I’m terrified at this point because there are 60 students that showed up that day). My professor had worked as a therapist before teaching, but never with trans* persons, so this was all new stuff for him. I agreed and proceeded to try not to panic. 

He led into the topic before introducing me. I stood up in front of the class for 40 minutes answering questions about being trans, about gender, religion and about living life. I thought there would be at least one person in the class who would be disrespectful, but there wasn’t. I got questions like “How did you know?” or “Have you noticed a difference the way professors address male and female students?” or “How does this affect your plans for children?”. Even the professor was asking questions.

It was liberating for me. I got over my fear of public speaking. I found out that day that not everyone is rude or disrespectful about gender and that most are just curious. I also found out that day that I had been completely stealth, which eased my worries about passing.

Help it live with a post, yeah?

My name is still irrelevant as is my age.

Ever since I can remember I have always had the inkling that something was very wrong with me. Though, I could never figure out why. I never much liked the girly things my friends did, and I never much liked to dress the way they did. My parents would put me in skirts and dresses and something felt off about it. My names was a slap in the face whenever I heard it, so I preferred a more masculine nickname.

I recall wondering why I had the genitalia I had because something was wrong with it. My mother bought me a book about female puberty and I could not fathom why, because I was flat chested. That’s how it was supposed to be for my entire life. I was just waiting for that certain growth. That book taught me that this was never possible. Health class taught me why I was different.

I tried to fit into this new role that I was given the script for. Somehow I always got the costume wrong, as well as the lines. My acting skills became worse and worse, especially when I tried to be the wrong character for everyone. I had stage fright; the worst kind of stage fright. I didn’t know if I could pull off the part any longer.

Then one day I was liberated from this play of evils. A new director came along and said that this play was going nowhere. He was brave. He knew what it was like to be me. He used to be in the same play, and someone came along to liberate him as well. He guided me through the new script. He helped me show my parents my new role, even though they never really liked it, and still don’t. The new play is still in progress, but I think in time it will be just right. I still have stage fright, but this is for a different reason. I know it will go away soon.

This new script, this new costume, this new play taught me that I have been playing this part all my life and I have never known it.

Post, yeah?

Description of purpose: “Point Foundation provides financial support, mentoring, leadership training and hope to meritorious students who are marginalized due to sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression.”  If you are a student in need of scholarship money for a 4-year college or grad school, check out Point Foundation.  Applications are due February 10, 2012.  More info about that here.  Please pass this message along!

19, trans man

All my life I have had an image of myself as male, but I couldn’t totally see it – I saw it in fragmented thoughts and experiences that I assumed everyone had. I chose my name after a lot of debate and back and forth with my friends about other “Ro” names. Some fun names were thrown around but Rowan seemed to fit me best given my English family. It’s a classic Scottish name, along with a kind of tree. I came out to myself halfway through high school and always loved the name Jaimie, but I have a cousin with the same name…so that was thrown out early.

I began transitioning exactly a year ago, after coming home from a failed attempt at going to college in New York City. I scheduled myself an appointment with a therapist who specializes in gender identity and expression and went on New Year’s Eve. I had come out to my mother a year prior, during a meltdown over costuming for a scene I was performing in my extensive drama class. Having to play Lady Macduff was just not jelling with my self esteem at the time.

Coming out to my dad and larger circle of friends chose to be harder than I imagined. I put it off for two months before my therapist told me I had to do it before I came to see her again. Knowing I had a safe and supportive home life made her feel comfortable issuing me that challenge. I told my dad when he was exercising on our front porch so I didn’t have to sit him down and look him in the eye. I was so nervous that I just blurted it out, knowing I would chicken out if I didn’t. I took the momentum from telling my dad and ran to my computer, sending out message after message to my extended group of friends. I sat there, staring at my screen in shock as positive responses kept piling up in my inbox and my phone filled with texts.

My parents still have a bit of a hard time changing pronouns and my name – mostly due to the fact that I’m four hours away at school most of the time. Sometimes I catch my dad looking at me like I’m some stranger who showed up in the middle of the night and replaced his little girl. But they have been incredibly supportive, sending out an announcement card to our tri-continental family, and including my transition in our annual Christmas letter – on top of doing their very best to affirm my identity.

I started hormones in August (seeing Dr. Sills at Upstate Medical in Syracuse - she’s been an absolute dream) and am hoping to schedule an appointment for top surgery in the spring after my semester ends. Some mornings it takes a lot to get myself out of bed, I just don’t want to put on my binder. I just don’t want one or to ever need one. Some days I can’t even recognize myself in the mirror – although I usually hope it’s just the steam from the shower. Those are the times when I reach out to a friend, trans* or not for a pick-me-up or distraction. One of the things I always remind myself is that transitioning is not an insular process – your family, friends, and loved ones have to make the transition with you. Building a support network is incredibly important and something to be cultivated and loved with all your being. The people that love you will stay loving you– sometimes it just takes a little time.

I’ve also recently been working for The Self Made Men (and our tumblr) along with Jason (whose soup entry is here). Although I’m very new to the company, he’s already created and produced calendars, shirts, stickers, wristbands, greeting cards, and a ton more. We’re going to be doing a lot of panels and conferences in the coming year around the North East to promote our motto of “transgender equality through public education”. The other part of our mission statement, “the support […] of other transgender individuals as a resource to transitioning and everyday life”, ties very closely with what Chicken Soup is doing here so I can’t thank them enough for having my story.

Remember to breathe and remind yourself that you’ve got purpose and things will seems brighter.

This is me, Want to see past pics of me? I have changed alot. 
Please watch, it is long but there is an important message, and I want to send it to my family.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRCjiDyhgZo if you want to comment go ahead. Im done being something I am not. Here you go world, I am the boy I have always wanted to be. 
I am happy that I am finally figuring out who I am.
I posted this up on my tumblr also, but I am PRE EVERYTHING. I am just starting to transition to male pro-nouns. I have a long journey ahead of me. I thought this blog would benefit from this video. maybe not, but here it is.  I tried to submit a video, but it wouldn’t let me.
 http://prettyhandsomemangina.tumblr.com/